aLL i ReaLLy NeeD is TiMe..

answer from a friend…

There’s no best way to get over an ex. The healing process takes its own course. i suggest you not to force your heart to move past your ex. coz if you do, you will realise that you don’t have ultimate control over your heart and mind. when i broke up with my ex, i wanted to move on instantly, and forced my mind, but this made my situation worse. i went crazy by trying to control and stop thinking about him. But i realised that forgeting and letting go is somethin beyond my control. so i decided to accept all the feelings and thoughts as they are. everytime i accepted feelings, i was deeply hurt, journey of walking past my ex was extremely painful, but this pain was better than avoiding or controlling feelings. Best thing to do is to go where your mind takes, this will cause plenty of pain, until one day that your tears will become sweet than bitter. i didnt take any short cuts to avoid pain as i know its impossible. let your pain flow as tears. bring it all out, dont preserve anything inside, let it flow. learn the art of accepting pain willingly. One day you will find yourself relieved and detached from your ex’s strings coz all the feelings are out of your heart and mind, they will no longer exist inside to hurt or threaten you in anyway. try to engage yourself in activities that fascinate you. hobbies or sports somethin that may help you forget about love and dating. I tried what i typed above, which hurt a lot in the beginning of the process, but now that i have nothin left inside to hurt, everything flew as a river in the form of tears, i feel so relieved and peaceful. i am no more attached to my ex. i am free. i am extremely happy. Good luck!

…thanks.

This is a story about a girl named Lucky…
Early morning, she wakes up
Knock, knock, knock on the door
It’s time for makeup, perfect smile
It’s you they’re all waiting for
They go…
"Isn’t she lovely, this Hollywood girl?"
And they say…
She’s so lucky, she’s a star
But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking
If there’s nothing missing in my life
Then why do these tears come at night
Lost in an image, in a dream
But there’s no one there to wake her up
And the world is spinning, and she keeps on winning
But tell me what happens when it stops?
They go…
"Isn’t she lovely, this Hollywood girl?"
And they say…
Isn’t she lucky, this Hollywood girl?
She is so lucky, but why does she cry?
If there’s nothing missing in her life
Why do tears come at night?

Hari ni asyik depan laptop je.. and selak2 buku. masa untuk lunch pon tak turun.. wahaha.. au koopud moi lintuhun! tingkat 5 tuu.. okeh, memang takde bende yg besh sgt hari ni. makan nasi lemak for dinner. minum air kosong je. and now, roomate tgh gayut ngan mak die. hehe… hurmm.. that pic was taken on 11th Nov 2oo6.. we’re celebrating this for our birthdays.. (sume kami lahir dlm bulan Nov & Dis).. um, kek Coklat yuu.. not really the fan of chocolaties, but it’s still finger licking gud. ehe.. where am i in that pic? huhu.. i’m the cameragurl.. wawa.. but still the one who got the big present that nite *grinning*  we played a game.. i dunno what they call it.. but it’s really a silly game which everybody enjoy it. haha.. each of us have to wrote a state of punishment on a small paper, roll it, then put in a box. then again, each of us will have to pick that rolling paper from that box.. just to see what punishment will we get. yeah.. silly. one of us have to kiss every present people’s cheek. she really turns red! haha.. pity.. people laughing at her, checking every spontanueous act she did while in the punishment process.. aha.. i wonder who wrote that…. hurmm.. the second person is.. me. everyone seems excited. i pick a rolling paper without even shaking it (why people always shaking the box when it come to this?) . ya.. seems cool. and self-controlled but know what inside? wondering to death! know what i got? " anda dikehendaki menyanyi".  mean i have to sing. any song. yay! my favourite. i sing a dusun song. on request. have think to sing ct nurhaliza’s song but.. hurmm.. used to sing it very very very often. sing it everywhere. hehe.. the dusun song title? ‘Osorow Ko Po Nangku Doho’ means, did u still remember me?

k, chow!

WhEn I fOunD hIM, I tOLd MySElF THaT I WoULd NeVer lEt Him Go UNlEsS THerE WoULd BE No WAtER in The oCEaN, TrEEs in The FoResT AnD CloUdS IN tHe SkY, IN ShOrt no sINgLe MomEnT In My LiFe that I HaD thE THoUghT Of LOsInG hiM..

BuT Now I think I hAve mAde thE bEst dEcIsIOn IN My WhOLE life..

I Am mOvIng On By LiVinG In The DaRk MeMOrIeS We hAd In The PasT wIthOuT aNy THOUgHtS OF hiM..

The ReASon..???

He Made Me ReAlizeD THaT A mAn LikE hiM NevER dESerVe To Be LOvEd by a WomaN LikE Me.

pheww! actually takde semangat sgt nak balik Sabah. kali ni mcm tak excited sgt mcm balik raya hari tu.. hambar je kali ni. huh.. taip mende ni pun malas rasanya tapi wat je la.. nak hilang tensen jap. ape la aku nak lalutkan hari ni. malas dah (malas lagi..) nak talk ’bout feeling2 ni. huahuahua! td baca buku teks Kenegaraan Malaysia.. 19hb ni exam for that paper. habis setengah buku. terhengat time amik STPM, tajuk ni masuk dlm silibus STPM Pengajian Am kertas 1. malas baca.. dpt C. huhu! isykk.. wat malu je sebut kat dalam ni.. *grinning*. uhuks! baru terhengat. roomate kate ade soalan esei..  ni yang den lemoh nih! wokeyla geng, lapar la plak. nak gi makan jap. anyway, wishing happy birthday to my sist, Hasnie Farhana.. 17th Nov. bubye!

Tak kira camane pahitnya, aku kena telan juga. Memang tak guna meletak harapan pada lelaki seperti itu. Tak punya pendirian tetap. Aku takkan bahagia dengan lelaki sebegini kerana aku semakin sedar, lelaki sebenar sepatutnya punya sifat melindungi. Sudah puas aku memberi peluang namun sia2. walaupun pedih, kaki dan hati ini sudah nekad untuk melangkah pergi jauh dari kemelut yang entah bila sudahnya andai aku biarkan begitu sahaja. Tanpa menoleh lagi. Bagi aku, aku tak kalah. Orang yang tak bisa untuk menghargai sesuatu yang sepatutnya dihargai, itulah yang kalah. Orang yang tak mampu melihat keindahan cinta itu lantaran hatinya telah keras, itulah yang kalah. Aku rasa aku sudah cukup tabah untuk melalui saat ini. Aku tak menyesal- sekurang2nya aku pernah cuba untuk mempertahankan hubungan ini.

Memang aku masih tak mampu untuk nafikan rasa kasih yang masih bersisa dalam hati ini untuknya.. tempoh 5 tahun mengabdi cinta untuknya cukup buat ku rasa cukup kehilangan..

Waktu terasa semakin berlalu

Tinggalkan cerita tentang kita

Akan tiada lagi kini tawamu

‘tuk hapuskan semua sepi di hati

Ada cerita tentang aku dan dia

Dan kita bersama saat dulu kala

Ada cerita tentang masa yang indah

Saat kita berduka

Saat kita tertawa

Teringat di saat kita tertawa bersama

Ceritakan semua tentang kita

Seems like just yesterday, You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything felt so right
Unbreakable like nothing could go wrong
Now I can’t breathe, No I can’t sleep
I’m barely hanging on
Here I am Once again
I’m torn into pieces
Can’t deny it, Can’t pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won’t get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that’s left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together but so broken up inside
No I can’t breathe, No I can’t sleep
I’m barely hanging on

Here I am Once again
I’m torn into pieces
Can’t deny it, Can’t pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won’t get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No I don’t cry on the outside
ANYMORE!….. Anymore

Time aku tulis mende alah nie.. aku ade kat airport (LCC) dah. Tunggu utk flight seterusnya. Jam 5.10 petang departure. Lama siot! Tak tau pe nak wat. Lawok jugak kitorang tadi.. dok tercari2 arah. But bagi aku itu perkara biasa. First time ler katakan. In second time i’ll be more independent. ^^ lebih2 lagi balik gi Kedah nanti aku sorang jew. Huhu.. naik MAS lak tuh. Tak tau ar camaner nanti.. main ikjut2 org jer lah. Haha.. yang penting rajin bertanya. Malu bertanya sesat jalan. Hehe

Sebelum tido semalam, aku contact sorang rakan aku kat Labuan, Zul. And sorang lagi rakan aku kat Keningau, Sabah.. Mintak bangun. Takut tak jaga plak jam 6. pakcik tu janji jam 6 tu dia dtg amik aku dan Cha kat Kachi 2. yang kat Labuan tu miskol aku 5 minit sblm 4.30am. yang kat Keningau tu miskol tepat jam 4.30am. hehe.. thanks guys. I know i always can count on you. Tapi lepas tu aku fall asleep lagi. Nasib baik ayah aku call jam 5am.. guna telefon bilik. Time bangun tu barula tersedar rupanya aku tertidur. Nasib baik ayah call..

Lepas tu aku terus bersiap, buat apa2 yang patut, and siap. Smlm da siap packing, tinggal sikit lagi kena masuk beg. Beso jugak beg.. isi tak byk sgt. Rasanya laptop ni bleh masuk lagi tp aku tak mampu la nak angkat. Berat. Takde yg bleh tolong. Bukan berat ape, berat buku je tuh. Ni le akibatnye malas wat nota. Teringat time sebelum amik STPM tahun lalu. Lagi banyak buku aku bawa pulang umah. Satu kotak. Balik asrama tu pun macam tu gak. Satu kotak. Penuh gitu. Sume buku2 yang masih nampak baru lagi. Pandai sgt aku jaga.. ;p Cha pun ade barang2 dia sendiri. 3 beg. But kecik2. aku satu beg beso, ngan beg laptop

Skrg ni, ade lebih kurang 6 jam lagi masa utk naik pesawat.. pesawat yang akan membawa aku pulang ke kampung halaman.

K, gotta go.